Growing up there was an energy around Christmas that was a wonderful mix of all the holiday feels and a little tension as we tried to have the perfect celebration. 

Mom did everything.  Our house was always decorated beautifully … mostly on the inside.  Mom’s mantle would have lights and garland.  The same would be draped down the 70’s winding staircase railing making it impossible to slide down. 

The tables were set the entire month of December with all of her colorful depression glass she collected through the years. 

And there was always a moment in the kitchen where she had to run everybody out … usually as she was cutting the meat with an electric knife.  I wouldn’t understand the build up of anxiety in the kitchen until I was in charge of getting the meal to come out perfectly with only 1 oven.

But the best part of Christmas, 1000% … hands down ….was THE STOCKINGS! 

My Mom was the best stocking stuffer in the history of Christmas. 

And she did one for everybody! 

I remember reaching in the wool sock and pulling out a wooden Christmas ornament.  It was a magical elf!  Being the collector she was, I got several over the years and cherish each one.  

A new Christmas memory is attending my Dad’s funeral at the First Methodist Church in December 6 years ago.  The 150-year-old church was full of poinsettias surrounding the oak casket and so many flower sprays on stands that they filled the choir loft. 

Both Mom and Dad are in heaven now.  So are both sets of Grandparents.  They were all Christmas to me. 

This year my traditions felt shaky and I was slow to put up my tree. 

I have a theory that only “the happy people” decorate. 

I started feeling down.  I was tired and weepy.  I felt like my hard work wasn’t paying off, and spiraled from there. 

But one morning during meditation I asked for help.  I asked to feel better. 

After I finished the session, I walked in the kitchen to put the coffee on and feed the dogs … business as usual. 

Bella’s water bowl needed refreshing and I heard a little voice in my head tell me to water the rosemary plant I had recently brought indoors.  So I took the bowl over and dumped the water there. 

Next to the rosemary is a plant my friend Derek gave me. 

He sells plants, but this one was in such bad shape he said i could just have it.  He told me the name like 5 times, but it never stuck.  Mom had the green thumb of the family, not me. 

The plant had dead spots on its huge leaves, so I cut those parts off with scissors.  Turns out, you’re not supposed to do that!

But I kept nurturing it.  I tried not to over water and put it in a place that gets nice light.  I’ve had the plant over a year now. 

I decided to spray the leaves with water and that’s when I saw it …

 A beautiful new baby leaf was sprouting up in the most gorgeous green you ever saw!!!

I felt a surge of excitement witnessing the miracle of that leaf!  

I marvel at answered prayers.  I asked to feel better … and I opened up to whatever my intuition wanted to say … “break out of your routine and walk this way.”  I was shown a sign of hope in the most beautiful way!  Just like that my spirits were lifted.  

(*I’m not suggesting that this would help someone who is truly struggling and diagnosed with depression … just relaying an uplifting story from my own experience.)  

Maybe the new leaf represents the seeds that are planted, the things I’ve nurtured coming to life … Maybe it’s a sign of new traditions forming … maybe it’s a sign of abundance …or blessing coming in ways I can’t imagine that will be even more magical than I thought. 

I am choosing to see a beautiful sign of hope, love and growth in this leaf. 

It’s so clear to me … keep nurturing what you care about, keep making steps towards what feels good and right.  

Growth is happening even when you can’t see it!  

I don’t know what the new year will bring but my prayer is to not be anxious on the journey, to keep nurturing the delicate seeds, to walk where I’m guided … and to keep believing, expecting and choosing to see the miracles!

Take good care,